The Agony of Images - The Power of Mindfulness in Healing Past Trauma

“The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” - William Faulkner

The gist of William Faulkner’s quote is that events that happened in the past continue to influence our present. Faulkner isn’t alone; other well-known sayings about our past impacting our present are:

• “You can’t escape your past.” 
• “The ghosts of your past will always haunt you.” 

Even if we never consciously ponder or recognize it, we implicitly acknowledge that the past doesn’t stay in the past. Have you ever wondered how events that occurred in the past continue to impact us in the present?

Understanding Our Two Consciousnesses

In his book Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child, Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay or teacher) discusses the two consciousnesses we all possess. There is:

1. Mind Consciousness: Is our active awareness, or what Western psychology calls “the conscious mind.” 
2. Store Consciousness: This is our root consciousness, which is where all our past experiences are stored. It’s also where we learn and process new information. In Western psychology, this is called “the unconscious mind.” 

According to Thay, both consciousnesses are like a house. Our mind consciousness is like the living room where our active awareness and presence take place, and our store consciousness is like the basement where our emotional seeds reside. 

When painful or traumatic past events move from the basement of our store consciousness into the living room of our mind consciousness, emotional seeds such as anger, fear, and grief sprout as well. If our emotional seeds are left unchecked, they can quickly become uncontrollable vines that take over our mind consciousness and lead to rage, anxiety, or depression.

The longer these seeds can enter our mind consciousness unchecked, the more poisonous they become. They are like a toxin that spreads from our minds throughout the rest of our bodies. 

Like fighting an addiction, the first step in healing from our pain and trauma is recognizing there’s a problem. Let’s examine how we recognize the root trigger of our pain and suffering.

Stuck in the Past

My family and I wrapped up a Marvel marathon yesterday, culminating with Avengers: Endgame. Throughout the movie, we all felt noticeably melancholy. Our mood was impacted not because the weather was gloomy or we’re currently fighting off a virus. As anyone who's watched Avengers: Infinity War knows, we’re all feeling down because Avengers: Endgame is the next chapter of the Avengers losing to Thanos. 

Infinity War ends with Thanos obtaining all six infinity stones, snapping his finger, and instantaneously erasing half the life forms in every galaxy. That’s right, trillions of living beings are destroyed at the literal snap of a finger. 

So, sitting through the last two hours and change of our Marvel marathon, we were all melancholy. Interestingly, around the two-and-a-half-hour mark, our moods completely changed. During the final battle, there’s a sequence where Captain America wields Thor’s hammer, Mjölnir. A few moments later, a bunch of time portals open up, and every superhero lost in Infinity War shows up to help defeat Thanos once and for all. It is epic, and it completely took my family from borderline depression to exhilaration. 

As amazing as those movies are, none of what they showed is real. There isn’t a superhero named Steve Rogers who wears America-themed spandex. Aliens never attacked Earth, and half the population of all reality was not wiped out at the snap of a finger. But the pendulum of emotions my family and I felt was 100% real. 

We literally cried watching our favorite heroes turn to ash, and we shouted with joy when Captain America summoned Mjölnir, and it came to him. The Avengers perfectly demonstrate the power of images from our past to trigger real emotions in our present. 

Our store consciousness is like the movie theater of our lives, where our past is constantly being projected. We understand in principle that the images we see in our thoughts and dreams don’t really happen in the present. However, just like in the movies, witnessing the pain, suffering, and trauma of our past re-creates real pain in our present. Often, we can become imprisoned by these memories, leading us to experience real suffering and real anxiety over and over again. 

When we relive our pain to the point of becoming imprisoned in our minds, the emotional seeds have become vines that have taken over the living room of our mind consciousness. Instead of dealing with the root issue, our out-of-control emotional responses, we try to suppress and self-medicate to numb the pain. 

In America, the most common method of self-medication is consumption. We try to make ourselves feel better by going on shopping sprees, reinventing ourselves on social media, finding comfort in food, traveling, prescription medications, and in some cases, alcohol and drugs. 

If America has taught us anything, we cannot consume our way out of our suffering. We cannot consume our way to true happiness.

Within Christianity, the answer would be to pray. To take our burdens to God, or lay our worries at the feet of Jesus. That’s all well and good, and by all means, I think praying is a great thing to do. The problem with this response is that it keeps us as passive participants in our healing. 

God isn’t the one who led our emotional seeds to grow into vines that have taken over our mind consciousness. We did that. If you want to seek God for help in getting to the root of your pain and suffering, by all means, do so. However, you don’t need to wait for God to find peace, healing, and happiness. 

Mindfulness Brings Us to Our Present Reality

The practice of mindfulness is the healing balm that we all already have to help us heal from our pain and trauma. Within Zen Buddhism, mindfulness is being fully present and aware in the moment. It involves paying attention to our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and environment without judgment.

Master Thich Nhat Hanh describes cultivating mindfulness like this:

“To cultivate the energy of mindfulness, we try to engage our active awareness in all our activities and be truly present with whatever we are doing.” (Reconciliation, p. 9)

One of the most significant barriers Americans face in finding peace, healing, and happiness through mindfulness is that we are a highly dualistic people. I think our religious roots within the Abrahamic faiths play a significant role in shaping our thinking. For Christians, Jews, and Muslims, we all believe there is one God, the good guy, and evil (Satan and sin), the bad guy. 

We tend to think in black and white and ignore that most of our lives are lived in gray areas. For example, if I became angry, most, if not all, the people I know would believe that’s bad. The solution is not to be angry but to be happy. 

With mindfulness, this duality doesn’t exist. My anger is just that mine. It’s as much a part of me as joy, gladness, gratitude, etc. So the goal is not to suppress the emotions our society has deemed ‘bad’ but to learn to show kindness and compassion to ourselves as we experience any emotion.

Master Thich Nhat Hanh says it this way:

“Mindfulness is there not to suppress or fight against anger, but to recognize and take care. It’s like a big brother helping a younger brother. So the energy of anger is recognized and embraced tenderly by the energy of mindfulness.” (Reconciliation, p. 11)

Within our store consciousness, we have the seeds of anger, fear, and sadness. But we also have the seed of mindfulness. As we learn to become more present with ourselves, we will notice when the seed of anger has sprouted and entered the living room of our mind. Once we see this, we can use our breathing to acknowledge our anger and invite the seed of mindfulness to join us in caring for our anger. 

Through mindfulness, we begin pruning the emotional vines that have taken over our living rooms. As we become more present and aware, we start addressing the root causes of our pain and sorrow.

The next time a traumatic thought comes to mind, we invite our mindfulness seed to join us. Mindfulness will remind you that this experience isn’t happening in the present. Just like a movie, it’s not happening. At the same time, mindfulness can welcome the very real emotions that come with our trauma. Instead of our feelings growing into uncontrollable vines, mindfulness will give our emotions healthy space in our living room to be present and cared for without becoming uncontrolled.